Hi. I’m Anthony. And I suffer from Depression Addiction.
I have made a lot of changes in my life recently on a kind of journey of self-improvement.
I finally started private counseling, taking my creative passions seriously. Writing – speaking and creating content, and focused intently on ways to better myself as a person, husband and Father.
When you head down that road, YouTube serves up some lovely motivational video.. Notably, I stumbled across a lot of different philosophies.
One of the lessons that has stood out to me, is focusing on what I can control. For too long, I’ve wasted days worrying, and stressing about things in my life that are totally out of my control.
I worry about how others think of me. About the traffic between here and my destination. I worry about next week’s priorities instead of focusing on TODAY’S priorities. I let my ego and vulnerabilities dictate how I behave in certain settings.
This philosophy of focusing on what I CAN control resonated with me so deeply, and it took me a little while to understand why.
When I was growing up, my father was a Recovering Alcoholic in the Alcoholic Anonymous program. Thankfully, he was sober before I was even a thought, but recovery is a lifelong process.
Alcoholics Anonymous was a major part of his life, and our household. Now I look back to the “Serenity Prayer” and I understand why this Stoic lesson of focusing on what I can control makes so much sense.
The Serenity Prayer begins like this…
God Grant me the Serenity.
To accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can.
And Wisdom to know the difference.
These words have come full circle, and now directly influence my everyday life. I have embodied this sentiment through my Mental Health Recovery.
I do not have a substance problem, but I can recognize that my brain has essentially become addicted to my depression.
There are chemicals released during a depressive state, that became the norm for me. I spent so long in that state – nothing else felt normal.. Depression was an addiction for me.
Over the next 12 Videos, I am going to look at the 12 Step Program for addiction recovery, and apply it to my Mental Health Recovery.
This is a process of intense introspective work. I’ll have to look deep within myself and really get to know my depressive state – and the power it wields.
There will be mentions of a “Higher Power” and this becomes a personal exploration of what a Higher Power is.
My higher power throughout this process is not the Traditional ‘God.’ – but more of an acknowledgement that there is something beyond my materialistic being.
My being, and existence is a collection of influences, experiences and perceptions. However, I have to cling to the acknowledgement that there is something much bigger than my perception of my existence. It is something within me, and all around me.
Looking ahead to the Steps, they will be as Follows:
- Admitting Powerlessness
- Believing That You Can Be Better
- Channeling a Higher Power for Control
- Taking a Personal Inventory
- Admitting the Wrongs Done to Someone Else
- Being Ready to Correct Shortcomings We Find in Our Patterns
- Asking the Higher Power to Remove Those Shortcomings – Finding New Ways to Live Without those Patterns
- Be Willing to Make Amends. Apologies.
- Contacting Those We Have Hurt to Make Amends, Where it Helps.
- Continuing To Take Personal Inventory and Admit When You Lean on Former Impulses
- Seeking Enlightenment and Staying Connected to Your New Self
- Carrying the 12 Steps to Others, and Through Our Life
I am a Depression Addict – and This is My Recovery.
Thank You For Watching.
The 12 Steps for Depression Addiction will be released here one at a time, and I hope you subscribe to come along with the journey.