I have to keep reminding myself that these speed bumps are not failures. These changes, and the waves of emotions that follow them are natural. Just like the massive changes I have faced before, I managed to put my family and I in healthier, and safer conditions. Sure, hindsight will always allow me to see different steps I could have taken, or routes I could have chosen with different end results. However, I cannot focus on the missed roads behind me. My eyes have to stay focused on the road in front of me. Twisting with the breathing highway, and gliding with the floating tires below us. I can scout the side roads and paths ahead, divulge from the highway, detour to see the sights, but my focus stays the same. My family is packed in this vacation car with me, and I have to ensure that we move at a healthy pace, allowing enough time for sightseeing, learning, and exploration to expand our minds.
These last few weeks have taken everything out of me, and I may be running on fumes a lot of the day. Yet when I get back home, no matter what building hosts our front door… The second I step through it, I am refueled with love, passion and energy that may as well be rocket fuel. In those moments where hellos and hugs swarm me, I am reminded why I ever ventured on this wacky road trip to begin with. I am on this proverbial road trip because I LOVE spending time with these people. A partner who lives and breathes for family. Who cheers me on in every strange hobby and endeavor I embark on. 2 toddlers, with more inquiries than I have answers, and more curiosity than I have knowledge. They test me daily in different learning, understanding and interpretations. A 7 month old new addition, who every day grows more than I ever imagined. For every inch in height she gains, for every bit of baby chub packed onto her little chubby legs, she also grows in personality, curiosity, and charm. It is these moments, with this family that keep me focused on the road ahead.
I took a break from writing in order to sort out the mayhem we faced recently. Not because I couldn’t bring myself to write, but because there simply wasn’t enough hours in the day to exert myself any more. In those days away from writing, and entrenched in panic, I struggled to focus. I barely displayed emotions within conversation. My brain settled into auto-pilot and just got the work done without being emotionally invested.
I was just beginning to catch a stride in my creative projects, putting out some creation at least weekly. I plan on getting back to that. I will continue to write about my family life, my struggles and progression in mental health, my passion for technology, and the way it all intertwines in my brain. I never want to lose writing from my life again, and a big first step in maintaining the hobby will be this new experiment on InTake Create. Consider this the first installment of “Free-Write Friday”. Where I sit with an empty Google Doc, and full volume music from all genres, allowing my brain to spill through my fingertips onto the page. I won’t do any major formatting changes. (Though I will fix whatever mistakes my dumb brain makes) Depending on the day or week I am faced with, it could be this long, or longer, or shorter. Who knows. It’s my project and I haven’t fully thought it out yet…
This will be supplemental to any regular, fully formatted articles I conjure up. Free Writing is such a great exercise for the mind. Give it a go and Tweet me your own Free-writes!! @Intake_create